Loyalty can be defined as “Give credit to others. Be loyal to the absent. Don’t talk negatively about others behind their back.”
If we want to build trust with people around us, we need to show our loyalty to them by not talking negatively about them behind their back, by talking to them directly with an openness to understand their perspective, and by caring enough to be true to your own feelings rather than pretending. When this principle is in the center of who we are every day, it will guide us throughout the changes of tough times.
Here is a quote from our favorite book, The 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, page 206.
“One of the most important ways to manifest Integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build trust of those who are present. When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present”
One reason that we gossip about others is because we are afraid of confrontation. But in the long run, people will trust and respect you if you are honest and open and kind to them.
Do you care enough to confront? The word confront means “forehead (front) together (con),” In other words you are open and courageous and caring enough to find out the other person’s perspective rather than assuming or self-confirming.
And to be trusted, it is said, is greater than to be loved. I believe eventually to be trusted will be also to be loved.