In every phase of life we have relationships, whether it is a spouse, a friend, a child or a co- worker. What type of relationship depends on you, what you are willing to put into that relationship to make it work? Here at Key we have a team, with values and principles and relationship. We can build and grow that relationship to make a better team. I learned 7 easy steps to put to use points to building a better relationship.
I recently took a seminar on relationship building and it excited me to put them to use to build a better team here at work. The seminar was geared towards couples, and singles looking to find mates, but I saw how it could work in a work place. While listening to it I kept thinking this is so much like 7 Habits. My whole thought process then turned to work relationships.
The first thing that really struck me as being such a good point was, “ We don’t fall out of love, we fall out of action”. Sometimes in a job we once really loved ,we get to a point of not loving anymore and wanting to quit. Maybe because someone at the work place make you unhappy or maybe you lost your zeal for the job. That statement…We don’t fall out of love, we fall out of action…made me realize that when we fall out of love with our job it could because we fell out of action. We stopped trying to work things out with a coworker, or we stopped putting into action the things that made us love our jobs to begin with. The seminar gave me 7 points to building/repairing relationships that I want to share and I believe it will build a better team. One that builds the emotional bank account and helps build trust.
1) Be generous in gestures. So many people use texting or emails to communicate and they can’t see your tone or gestures as you talk. When you talk to someone use your smiles and compassion and body language to communicate better. Show on your face what you really feel. Smile, be excited, let your face show on the outside what you feel on the inside.
2) Be interested in what they are interested in. When talking with people show interest in what they are talking about. Ask questions. Build that emotional bank account.
3) Circulate praise for other people who live and work in your world. Not just praising people to their face but tell others praise about other co-workers. It is such a nice feeling to hear “Debbie told me you were really smart when it came to computers, so I thought I’d see if you could help me”. You stop and think, Debbie thinks I am good at something? Talk good behinds peoples back. Build people up!
4) Be easy to talk to about hard things. Be a person who is easy to talk to so others feel they can be honest with you and approach you about a concern rather than talk ABOUT you. Remember when people come to talk to you about a hard thing, they are people who care about you and want to help something change or grow. They care about you, they aren’t trying to tear you down…so don’t cut off communication or put up a wall by instantly getting defensive or putting yourself down in the conversation. (ie: Oh so you think I am a lousy employee. Or ..Oh you think I can’t do anything right) .
5) Clarify the desired outcome of the conversation. For instance: I heard you say this, is this what you needed from me? Or was there something else I needed to do?
6) Seek to understand and not just to express your opinion. Listen twice as much as you speak. Try to understand what that person needs and not interject your opinion unless it is asked for.
7) Try to use the right amount of words. Sometimes when talking to people the person listening thinks ” OK, OK I got it 4 sentences ago.” Or when talking you only say something real brief and the listener thinks “ I don’t get it, what was that all about”. Make sure you don’t over talk, but make sure you give enough information.
I believe if we put these 7 steps into action we can build better work relationships and teamwork. If we do this in all our phases in life it can help build better marriages, friendships and family relationships as well. They are really simple and easy steps. Build emotional bank accounts, you will find that you are rich in relationship!